“MARIA FULL OF GRACE” (2004)

Starring: Catalina Sandino Moreno, Yenny Paola Vega
& Guilied Lopez
Written & Directed by: Joshua Marston

Polly Staffle Rating: ***

Maria's life sucks. She's 17 and poor. She hates her job. She has a boyfriend that she doesn't love. She's not in school. Her family is always breathing down her back. She has to pay for her unemployed sister's baby. Not to mention she lives in Columbia. So Maria gets a job as a mule. She swallows drugs and then flies to the United States to take a dump. This is the intriguing premise of “Maria Full of Grace.”

I'm not going to make too many stupid comments at the title of the film, but I did want to get one out of the way early. Maria is full of something, but it surely isn't grace. We hear about people getting caught smuggling drugs all the time. For whatever reason, I thought they just shoved it in an orifice. The reason there are so many women smugglers is they have an extra hiding place, I assumed. There was an old joke I remember from when I was little about a certain female daytime talk show host that is still on the air and now has her own magazine. This was when they were overweight, before they ever did any yo-yo dieting and the lame joke was they got caught with 40-pounds of crack in their pants. But overall I never really gave much thought to how the drugsmuggling as a mule all worked. Now I do.

This isn't a perfect movie and is actually rather slow to start with. I found myself not really liking Maria. I felt a lot of her misery was brought on by herself. She actually doesn't make too many good decisions. She is uneducated and gullible - the perfect target for a drug dealer. Catalina Sandino Moreno was nominated for best actress for the role, but she isn't what makes the film. It was purely the subject matter. Once Maria gets involved with her new job, I found myself transfixed. Everything is handled rather tamely since the film is PG-13, but it was still fascinating.

Maria fasts before packing in the pellets as to not have to use the bathroom on the trip. She then swallows the cocaine and gets on a plane to the United States. Several girls are sent at once with the shotgun approach. The hope is even if a number of the girls are detained by customs, some of them will make it through. If all goes as planned, the girls then have a contact that will take them to a hotel, so they can take turns using the toilet. Upon delivering, they will be paid $100 a pellet. Maria is carrying 62 pellets and is to receive more money than she would make over months and possibly years in the factory she works in back home dethroning roses. In just a couple of hours, she'll have several thousand in cash. Though this movie starts at a snails pace, it really does turn into an exciting thriller. I won't give away what happens, but will say at the end of the film; Maria makes a life changing choice. It is a hard decision, but it is just about the only smart move she makes the entire film.

Maria is small. I started thinking that if she can down almost 70 pellets I wonder how many I could handle. I came up with an estimate of 300. So 300 pellets at $100 is thirty grand a trip. Ten vacations to Columbia and back and I've got myself a nice down payment on a house. Ten more visits to my favorite country and back and I've got my house paid off and an Escalade sitting in the drive way. It is easy to see how the Marias of the world gets suckered in. That's pretty good pay for a part time job.

There a few risks to think about though. What if the pellets upset my stomach like Splenda? What if many years of daily jalapeno pepper binges have made my stomach able to digest anything and my body actually processes the pellets? Or what if I simply have to use the bathroom? I don't like toothpaste much and that is what they use to clean them so they don't stink after they come out. Even though Crest Vanilla Mint has sort of a cake frosting taste to it, I don't think I want to try putting the pellets back down, so they will be going straight down the plane or airport bathroom toilet. Then I'll be short a few pellets when I go to make the money transaction and I'll either be murdered or best case scenario hurt and never used again. The Escalade will have to go back. What if I get caught and sent to prison? But worst of all, what if a pellet bursts in my stomach and I die of an overdose? I guess you just have to put that crazy talk out of your mind.

If I was even able to do that, my days as a mule would be numbered. I could write a screenplay about the experience titled “The Story of the Famous Howards.” A gringo like me would surely stick out on a plane from Columbia. I'd be like Howard Stern in a nunnery. I'd panic and draw attention to myself acting more paranoid than Howard Hughes. My voice would snap, crackle and pop and I'd sound like Howard Cosell. Most of all I'd crash and burn like “Howard the Duck” at the box office.

Say I've made it through 19 times with no problem. This is flight 20. They are on to me this time. A male policeman and his female crime-fighting partner take me in the little investigation room and ask me what I was doing in Columbia. Thinking on the spot, I reply with the best excuse I can think of - visiting a brothel. They inform me there are legal brothels in my home state and much safer places for sex tourism across the world. They ask, “Do you have a death wish? Why travel to Columbia where rebels may slaughter you in the street?” Again, taken by surprise I give them the most clever response I can - the coffee. “It's better in Columbia. I really like fresh coffee,” I say out loud as I think, “Oh yeah. He shoots, he scores. I'm home free.” They give me four options. One, they say they will give me some reading material and we all three will wait in a restroom stall till I have to go. Two - they x-ray me and see if I'm full of anything. Three - I prove I visited a brothel with a receipt. Four - I drink a cup of coffee for them. I'm screwed. I've never visited a brothel and never plan to in any country. If I had at this point, I wouldn't have the receipt because I can never keep up with any of those little pieces of paper. I just wad them up and stuff them in my pockets. I'm pretty sure you would have to make getting a receipt from any prostitute a special request. That's a receipt you definitely don't want just laying around. So my only hope is to drink some coffee. There is no way I'm doing that. That stuff is just nasty. I don't care how good the fresh Colombian stuff is.

So long story short, for any Marias out there, it isn't worth the risk. You can end up dead or in prison. Luckily most of us in America aren't in Maria's position. I've joked my way through this review, but we can learn a lesson from this film. It's easy to get sucked into dangerous situations, especially when you feel like there isn't much hope. The young are especially at risk as they can be manipulated easy and are blinded by the idea of money, glamour, risks and a sense of belonging. This is the same reason our youth are so easily swayed into joining gangs, selling drugs, getting involved in the sex industry and things of that nature. I'm a believer in exploitation, but only when it is done by choice. Exploiting yourself is so much different than unknowingly being taken advantage of. Maria isn't ever told what she is fully getting herself into. They even lie about the number of pellets she must swallow. They never refer to them as drugs and actually say she has to swallow film and have it developed in America. Most 17-year-old girls likely aren't thinking their way through the possibilities of what may happen by swallowing a bunch of cocaine-filled pellets.

At the same time, think about the Marias of the world when you say this country should close its gates and not allow foreigners to come in. I say we welcome all with open arms. When mules are busted for smuggling drugs into our country, we shouldn't prosecute and we shouldn't deport them. We can set up programs to help educate and get these people on their feet here. The strong are supposed to protect the weak, so why let the weak be exploited? If our country wants to truly liberate those of other countries, we've got the power to do so. The weak are exploited because they feel there is no other way. It doesn't have to be that way. It's only then that there will there be less and less Marias caught in a cycle of flying back and forth trafficking drugs. It won't stop the drugs from making their way into our country, but it will show the Marias we care.

- CCF, February 2006