“PISTOLEROS” (2007)

Starring: Zlatko Buric, Thomas Bo Larsen, Sami Darr, Sofie Lassen-Kahlke, René Dif, Robert Hansen , Erik Holmey, Hector Vega Mauricio, Claire Ross-Brown, Mustafa Ali, Dennis Dean, Daniell Edwards, Salah El Koussa & Dennis Haladyn
Written & Directed by Shaky González

Polly Staffle Rating: ****

Pulling off a heist is no easy task. You need the ultimate crew filled with people that are trustworthy. You also need a good mix of muscle and intelligence. Without these elements, your robbery could end up like the bloody finale of “Reservoir Dogs,” get profiled on “Masterminds” or become an even bigger mess like the one in Shaky González’s western/comedy/crime caper “Pistoleros.”

Too many trigger-happy loose cannons, big mouths and lowlife scoundrels don’t help Frank Lowies (Erik Holmey) rob a train that is carrying a safe filled with millions of dollars. In fact, the entire crew of thieves, hustlers and crooks ends up in jail and an urban legend emerges that somewhere Frank has hidden money from the heist and tattooed treasure map hints on various individuals. The real excitement begins seven years later when the gang is released from prison with each one of them wanting their cut and the entire city of Copenhagen, Denmark trying to get in on the action.

“Pistoleros” is a cool movie. So much so that “Pistoleros” is way too short of a name for it. Most of the movies “Pistoleros” reminded me of have lengthy titles like Guy Ritchie’s “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels,” Sergio Leone’s “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” Robert Rodriguez’s “Once Upon a Time in Mexico” and last but not least Stanley Kramer’s “It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World.”

The action is on par with anything Jason Statham or Antonio Banderas would star in. The music and vibe is old school Clint Eastwood. But on top of all that is this dark comedic element that is reminiscent of the 70’s movies starring Elliott Gould or Alan Arkin. Jumble up all those people and films just mentioned, throw in a touch of “Sin City” and you get a pretty good idea of what this film is all about. There are tons of quirky characters, lots of backstabbing with family members even turning on each other, tough guys galore, a few strippers, warped humor a plenty, and yes there is blood.

Frank’s niece Tina (Sofie Lassen-Kahlke) exemplifies the type of wacky characters and storylines “Pistoleros” is filled with. A recovering alcoholic, Tina is more man than George Clooney. She’s a middle-finger flipping, sharp-shooting, John Wayne toilet paper kind of gal that’s “rough, tough and don’t take crap off nobody.” When she is introduced in the film she even goes as far as cold-cocking her boyfriend when she catches him kissing another woman.

Tina is supposed to be the driver and dynamite expert for the train hold up. “Unless she breaks her foot, she’s driving,” Frank proclaims. But Pucha, a daytime security guard that concocted the plan, wants to be the driver. So Pucha, the brother of another dynamite specialist, shoots Tina in the foot. Frank then kicks Pucha out of the gang, leaving them with no driver and no explosives expert.

In pain and knowing she won’t be driving, Tina shows up completely wasted the night of the stick up. When it comes time to rob the train, she is laughing hysterically and firing a gun aimlessly. She then proceeds to pass out, waking up only to puke as everything is going down. But Tina is only one of “Pistoleros” amusing characters.

Almost as dysfunctional as Frank’s gang is the film’s plot. This film isn’t perfect by any means. The story jumps all over the place, characters come and go, but what makes the film so engaging, believe it or not, is the imperfect narrative. After a quick glimpse at the botched heist, the film jumps ahead in time with filmmakers Martin and Camilla meeting Crazy Uffe, who is supposedly very knowledgeable on the great Frank Lowies. Martin is writing and directing a film on Frank that Camilla is producing.

The duo meets Uffe in a bar. He’s a drunk. But desperate to hear what he has to say, Martin and Camilla pay Uffe $3,000 to tell them all he knows. He then gives them some background on Frank and proceeds to tell a story about himself telling a story to mob boss Yugo Ivan. This sets up the film, which then jumps around, giving insight on various characters, while unfolding the secret of the money.

Halfway through Uffe’s story, a man named Krelle interrupts and agrees to tell Martin and Camilla about the heist, if they buy him a beer. They oblige. He discusses what he knows with other characters telling anecdotes inside his story. Once Krelle’s yarn is done, Uffe takes over the reigns again and picks up where he left off.

Krelle then spots Tuki walking around the bar and calls him over. “Tuki’s the expert on the story,” Krelle explains. When Uffe protests that he knows just as much, Krelle says, “You don’t know jack shit. You make it all up. Tuki was there. He almost got the money, right?” Tuki then adds his piece to the puzzle. When he is finished he states, “That’s the end of the story, and all the assholes are gone. And the money is still there.”

What’s real? What’s not? Who did what? Where is the money? Was there ever any money? Was it $20 million, $10 million or $5 million? When it’s over you have no idea. But you’ve laughed, been awed with stylistic John Woo/Robert Rodriguez gunplay and thoroughly entertained.

The result of the jumbled sequence of events and multiple story tellers gives the film a “telephone game” feel. The telephone game is where someone whispers something to somebody and then it is passed on and on, with the final result being a mutilated, yet usually hilarious version of the original message. It’s the same reason tall tales get taller as time goes. So, yes, “Pistoleros” is essentially a confusing and horribly structured film, but it is so on purpose.

Usually, I have a problem with badly structured movies. “Sin City” is a perfect example. “Sin City” felt like a wannabe “Pulp Fiction.” It borrowed elements from Quentin Tarantino’s masterpiece, but had no idea what to do with them. The out-of-order sequencing and over abundance of thug characters added nothing to the finished product. On the other hand, González (the highly underrated “One Hell of a Christmas”) serves up the mishmash “Pistoleros” screenplay and it works. He exploits the element in a unique way that hadn’t been done before, making it more important than the action itself. That combined with Frank Lowies’ band of thieves makes for an enjoyable watch. Just don’t sit down to “Pistoleros” expecting to pick up any “how to” tips on constructing a script. The film also offers no pointers for pulling off an intricate robbery for that matter.

- CCF, February 2008