“DOOMED” (2007)

Starring: Mary Christina Brown, Steve Cryen, Sarah Diaz, Aaron Gaffey, Andre McCoy, Ward Roberts, Drew Russell, Kara Schaaf, Edwin Villa, Heidi Marie Wanser &
Written by Patrick McManus & Sean O’Bannon
Directed by Michael Su
Maverick Entertainment

Polly Staffle Rating: ***

The pitch is a group of people on a deserted island filmed for the enjoyment of others. The plot has the islanders scavenge for food, water and shelter and try to figure out what the hell is exactly going on. Sound familiar? Yes, of course, but this isn’t the prime time drama “Lost” or the highly successful reality TV show “Survivor,” however; this is Michael Su’s action horror film “Doomed.”

In Su’s television show within the movie, all the people on the island are convicts. It also turns out the place isn’t so deserted. It’s covered with a military project gone wrong - bloodthirsty human-flesh eating undead soldiers. These aren’t your pappy’s slow moving zombies out on the farm either. These “is some” quick undead. Screw outwit, outsmart and outplay. The number one goal here is outlive.

Welcome to reality TV entertainment of the future. The year is 2020 and ten criminals in teams of five are competing for their freedom and $50 million in cash. Let’s meet our contestants.

The black team consists of Boyle (Ward Roberts) and Conrad (Drew Russell). Boyle has a sentence of fifty years for fraud and petty larceny, while Conrad is facing life for sabotage and high treason. Those who judge books by their covers might place their bets on Conrad winning this thing as he looks a tad bit like Sawyer from “Lost.” But neither Conrad or Boyle is deserving.

Next up is the blue team, which is made up of Benny (Edwin Villa) and Trey Dog (stuntman turned actor Andre “Chyna” McCoy). Benny is looking to escape a 125 prison sentence for tax evasion and racketeering. His teammate Trey is even nastier with a life sentence for assault and armed robbery. These two might stand a chance if they could work together, but instead they’re content on beating the crap of each other.

The grey team is my favorite of the bunch with Leigh (Sarah Diaz) and Reese (Steve Cryen). Both are murderers that have death sentences they are looking to get out of. The beauty Leigh was convicted of euthanasia and jury tampering. The beast Reese for military desertion and mass murder. I could see either of these winning a game of “Survivor.” Reese could do it with a wise old man routine and has the muscle to hold his own against anyone. Leigh could play the sexy card. Unluckily for them, these traits will not come in handy on “Survival Island 2020.”

My vote for the weakest link goes to the green team of Dawn (Heidi Marie Wanser) and Kyra (Kara Schaaf). If the loose cannon Dawn could keep her cool, she might do okay. Facing life in prison, she looks to wipe away her convictions of armed robbery and manslaughter. Kyra on the other hand, a shop lifter and stalker, would have probably been better off living out her 25 years in prison. But what the hell do I know? Speaking of “Weakest Link,” I’m sure it’s no coincidence the game’s host reminded me of the syndicated host of that show George Gray.

Last, but not least, there’s the red squad of a prostitute and a nerd. Sybil (Mary Christina) has a sentence of 200 years for prostitution and double homicide. Wes (Aaron Gaffey) is facing life in prison for stealing cable. Okay, I lied - he downloaded some mp3s and probably burned a few too many copies of a DVD he rented. It might have even been the old hacker trick of breaking into the public library’s internet site and making it say “pubic.” Regardless, the judge threw the book at him and called it pirating and computer hacking.

So those are the contestants. Who will backstab who? Who will walk away with their freedom? Who will go home millions of dollars richer? Who will be bitten and become a zombie? You will have to tune in to find out.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, “Doomed” is a hell of a lot of fun. Sure the concept has been done a few other times before with “Death Race 2000,” “The Running Man” and “Series 7: The Contenders,” but here it has a horror twist and what really sets this apart from a movie like “$la$sher$” is the way it is done. Shot by Su and edited by Maui Toca, “Doomed” feels like a video game. The action scenes are just super fantastic. I’ve never seen a movie done quite like this. Each punch, kick, slash and gash freezes for just enough time to flash the action in text and the number of points the contestant received. As an example, a punch to the face may register a “power shot” worth 150 points, while ending a zombie’s life can give a contestant a “kill shot” worth 550 points. It is done in a way that doesn’t come off as a cheesy gimmick, but more like you are actually playing a cool ass version of “Mortal Kombat” meets “Resident Evil.” Take notes Uwe Boll (“BloodRayne,” “Alone in the Dark,” “House of the Dead”); this is how it’s done.

The point system is combined with slick graphic transitions and the use of great locations to give the film a look of a much bigger budget than it clearly had. Not a bad thing can be said about Su’s cinematography. He gives us herky jerky when it’s needed, but it’s not overdone. He uses faux green night vision that allows us to actually see what’s going on in the dark. He also lets us take in the beauty of the locations, sometimes even with time elapsed photography. Most of all, his colors are very vibrant, making the movie pleasant to look at even if you aren’t enjoying it.

The weakness of this movie lies in its screenplay. It seems the actors do the best they can with the material, but there’s only so much one can do with dialogue exchanges like this: “What the hell was that?” Wes asks after he and Sybil are attacked by a zombie for the first time. “I don’t know, some kind of fucked up guy or something,” Sybil replies. There are lots of gems like this one scattered through the film, but besides this I don’t have too many complaints with “Doomed.”

Nevertheless, I did find one thing about the film quite odd at first. The zombies just aren’t that ravenous. These walking dead creatures seem completely content on just killing, not ripping apart their victims and devouring every morsel. They just take a bite out of people and toss them aside. What a bunch of wasteful zombies. Don’t they know there are starving cannibals on the other side of the world that would love to chomp on a leg or two? They need to enjoy a fresh corpse buffet before they kill off all the living humans on the island. Once that food resource is gone, what the hell are they going to live off of? Anyway, for this reason some viewers may complain of a lack of gore. I would have to say the movie doesn’t need it and the social commentary that it provides is quite brilliant. Yes, that’s right. It appears our zombie counterparts are just as selfishly greedy and unappreciative as we are.

- CCF, April 2007