“DOUBLE AGENT 73” (1974)

Starring: Chesty Morgan
Written by Judy J. Kushner & Doris Wishman
Directed by Doris Wishman

Polly Staffle Rating: **

Jane Genet has a gadget that tops any James Bond ever had. She has a camera implanted into one of her huge 73F breasts. Just point and shoot. Even better than that, it takes really good pictures. Of course the photos have little to do with the rest of Doris Wishman’s “Double Agent 73,” but that doesn’t really matter.

This is 70’s sexploitation fun at its best as Chesty Morgan stars as Jane. In Wishman’s “Deadly Weapons,” Morgan uses her breasts to suffocate gangsters. She obviously didn’t want to be seen as a one-trick pony, so this time she only falls back on her breasts as weapons when completely necessary. But not to worry, she uses her camera in just about every scene.

Part of the beauty of Wishman’s films is how seriously they play no matter what absurd thing happens. This film is filled with the usual bizarre Wishman cut a ways to phones, feet, trees, etc., as well as a horse racing scene that was obviously stock footage and a surprisingly good slow motion action sequence.

Wishman also pays homage to Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho.” The scene involves a woman, who comes over to shower when Jane steps out for no apparent reason, getting slashed up by a hit man. It’s a pretty gory scene for this movie with the killer aimlessly stabbing as blood splashes all over the place. The hit man was supposed to be getting rid of Jane and later showed disappointment he killed the wrong person by stating it was too bad because it was such a clean hit. Moments like that make this a must see for cult fans even though “Double Agent 73” ends up being a weaker film than “Deadly Weapons.”

A trilogy with Morgan was supposedly originally planned with all three films based on stories by Wishman’s niece Judy J. Kushner. Morgan didn’t end up appearing in the final film, “The Immortal Three,” due to creative differences. The Polish stripper turned actress shortly fell off the entertainment map and has only appeared in two other films since. It’s a shame because who knows where the Wishman and Morgan duo could have taken us if they would have continued upping the creative ante in future films.

Jane’s camera got me to thinking; why haven’t camera’s like this hit the market place? It’s way cooler than a camera phone. Ok, admittedly, this isn’t the best camera to whip out during a family function, but think of the limitless possibilities. A crime is in progress, a woman removes her top, the criminals look at her thinking she is flashing them and she snaps great photos that will easily identify them. With today’s technology we can probably take it a little further and have digital video. No more blurry bank and convenience store footage of robbers. Just have a clerk strip to catch the thief in action. I’m not sure where they would implant the male camera, but I’m sure doctors will figure out some place to stick it.

- CCF, February 2006