Starring Marie Forsa, Nadia Henkowa, Anke Syring & Ines André
Written & Directed by Joseph W. Sarno

Polly Staffle Rating: *

For those that complain pornographic films aren't real enough and are too graphic, I present you Joseph W. Sarno's 1974 film “Girl Meets Girl.” For those that want more character development and plot than most adult films offer, keep on looking. The film was rated X at the time of its release. Supposedly the actors are actually having sex and the director chose to not show any penetration. So what the viewer gets instead is a lot of nudity, lots of closeups of faces and more sex scenes than in any movie ever made.

The film has no plot and probably never had a screenplay. All the actors are Swedish and hard to understand, so the fact there is little dialouge to follow is probably a good thing. All of Sarno's films were shot in Germany with Swedish actors speaking English. Why? I’m not quite sure. Sarno himself was an American and made his films for American audiences. This is one of three of his films that has become known as the “Girl Meets Girl Trilogy.” From what I understand, the other two films – “Butterflies” and “Vampire Ecstacy” have absolutely nothing to do with this one, but feature many of the same stars.

The set up to “Girl Meets Girl” is 16-year-old schoolgirl Bibi traveling abroad to stay with her aunt. Swedish starlet Marie Forsa, who reminded me of Beverly Mitchell from “7th Heaven,” plays Bibi. Producer Chris Nebe says Forsa is who inspired the film. The story goes she seduced everyone, but Sarno on the set of their previous film. That's just what her character Bibi does here. She pretends she is innocent and still a virgin, but beds anyone and everyone - male, female, one at a time, two at a time, three at a time, four at a time. She's basically a super slut. So much so, I'm not sure how she doesn't wear herself out or get pregnant. Though this film has no plot, it is actually a little hard to follow. There are too many characters, so it is hard to remember who is who. Before it is all over with, you aren't sure if characters that were blood related just slept with each other or what the hell happened. But everybody has there turn with Bibi. Even her aunt starts to get in on the action, but decides it might be a bad idea to start sexing Bibi, who is sleeping in the buff. They could have named this movie “Bibi Bangs Belgium.” Of course, it has nothing to do with Belgium, but they could have lied and said it took place there and how the hell would we know? The title “Girl Meets Girl” doesn't quite fit anyway. It suggests a monogamous love affair to me. This is anything but that.

The film runs an hour and forty minutes and the whole time is simply Bibi having sex with someone new then telling them she would like an item to remember them by. It gets old fast and is quite laughable. With all the loot she is collecting, I couldn't figure out if she was a nymphomaniac or a kleptomaniac. Does she just want the watches, necklaces, bracelets and other items or does she enjoy the sex? I don't think Bibi even knows. Not only does she have sex with everyone, but everyone else also has sex with everyone as well. Of course every woman is a lesbian and everyone is openly sexual like most male fantasies. It takes all of five seconds to convince anyone having sex right then and there no matter where they are is a great idea, even if a weird guy with binoculars is visible in the bushes. The men also all dress in suits down at the night club, while the women are in skimpy outfits with their boobs literally falling out. The film is also packed with fetishes - lesbians, spankings, sex toys, female masturbation, food sex, rape, skinny dipping, swingers, voyeurism and probably other things I can't remember off the top of my head.

So what did I think of this film? It sucks. It's boring. It's unentertaining. It's nothing against the sex scenes. There's just not much of a point to the whole thing. Movies need stories of some kind to move them along, even adult one. They also need characters we at least like or find interesting in some way.

One interesting thing is at least the film is more realistic than hardcore and soft-core movies of today. The women are all natural in everyway, which means flat chested with huge bushes. That also means there's no overdubbed screaming women during the sex acts either. Each scene seems like the people are trying to be as quiet as possible like their parents are in the next room and they don't want them to hear. Except Bibi of course who is pretending to be a virgin and is crying in pain every time she is with a man.

If you are looking for campy, watch a Something Weird Video sexploitation film instead. There actually is very little humor to be found here. The funniest part would have to be a close-up of a woman's face during one encounter that made me think of Batboy. For those that don't remember him, he is half bat and half human and has been featured on the World Weekly News tabloid cover a lot. Numerous times during sex scenes it also appeared the women are possessed and having exorcisms performed on them instead of sodomy.

This was my first Joseph Sarno film and I was pretty disappointed. He is highly touted as “the sleazemeister,” having made over 40 raunchy films. He's known for taboos and considered highly shocking. What made me most interested in seeing some of his films however, is they are supposedly filled with unusual characters and compelling psychological story lines. Maybe I picked the wrong film to be introduced to him, but regardless, I wasn't impressed.

- CCF, April 2006

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