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PICK OF THE WEEKS - 2007

JUNE 20

Hated — Before going on to direct the comedies “School for Scoundrels,” “Starsky & Hutch,” “Old School” and “Road Trip,” there was “Hated.” The Todd Phillips documentary examined the rock’n’roll outlaw G.G. Allin, who died of a drug overdose June 28, 1993. Called “disturbing, intriguing, and often darkly funny,” Phillips’ film combines concert and interview footage of the punk rocker that was arrested over 50 times. “Hated,” which Allin had to break parole to appear in, gets a special edition release by MVD Visual this August 7. Until then, check out the various contest DVD covers designed by G.G. fans here.- CCF

MAY 30

Photoshop Phriday — Each week the forum Goons of Something Awful use their Photoshopping talents to better mankind. These artists skillful manipulate images and cater them to specific pop culture themes in order to make us laugh. Their hard work is always showcased on Friday. Why do we love Photoshop Phriday? Maybe its because we at PollyStaffle.com have no clue when it comes to working the damn program of Photoshop. Or perhaps these parodies on entertainment such as the recreation of famous movie posters in the tradition of grindhouse cinema are pretty freaking funny. Or still it very well could be that we, like the Goons on the Something Awful forums, need to get a life. Regardless, PollyStaffle.com salutes Something Awful and declares T.G.I.PP. Thank God It’s Photoshop Phriday! ...even though today is actually Wednesday. Click here for the site. - CCF

MAY 22

Frankensteins Bloody Nightmare — This week PollyStaffle.com celebrates the DVD release of John R. Hand’s debut film “Frankensteins Bloody Nightmare.”

Today marks Unearthed Films’ unleashing of the beast... Or baby, depending on how you look at it. Hand not only wrote and directed this Polished Apple “Little Mariachi That Could” award winner, he also produced it, edited it, stars in it and scored it.

When I reviewed “FBN” in August, I noted that it took me back to my youthful years of watching “Tales from the Darkside” and at times felt reminiscent of old Euro horror or a Jean Rollin movie. “In our current world of digitally mass produced slick films that are no way near as horrifying as the real life evil lurking outside, it feels as though Hand is breaking new ground,” the review states.

Some will love it, others will hate it. Regardless, Hand’s film with a $2,000 budget is destined to have a cult following. On the eve of the DVD being available to the masses, I asked Hand how he hopes audiences respond to the project.

“Anyway they want to, really,” Hand said. “I guess this movie can’t help but get either a very positive or negative response. One funny story that I heard is that someone who worked in submissions at a DVD distributor watched a screener of my film and threatened to resign if she was forced to watch another film like mine. I think this was meant as a dig towards me and my film, but I kind of took it as a compliment.” (Polly Staffle Rating: ****) - CCF

MAY 16

Suicide Pop Song — PollyStaffle.com is pumped about the debut video from the Indecline band Ninth Cloud. “Suicide Pop Song” is a freaky little clip that would make Trent Reznor turn so green with envy that he looked like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. Not only is the Ryen McPherson-directed video dark, it’s also grindhouse retro and quite relevant. Hopefully, Ryen keeps fine turning his directing chops and we see more stuff like this and a feature out of him sometime soon. Click here for the video. - CCF

MAY 2

Mom & Pop Shops — PollyStaffle.com gives respect galore to the “mom & pop shops” across the world. Like indie filmmakers, these people running DVD, CD, comic book, trading card, skateboard and a whole array of independent stores are exactly what the American Dream is all about. Without them the evil conglomerate McMart empires get bigger and bigger and have more control over what’s acceptable to the masses and how much it will cost. Sure you can get just about any product nowadays through the internet, but it just doesn’t create the same type of lasting memories or have the communal effects of the weekly visit down to the local trading card shop, record rack, etc.- CCF

APRIL 25

Dead Body Man 2 — No chicken is safe as the second film in the “Willie Trilogy” hit DVD earlier this week. Ryan Cavalline’s “Dead Body Man 2: Separation Anxiety” stars Eddie Benevich as the strangely likeable porn-loving serial killer Willie that is a cross between Bam Margera, Chris Farley and Freddy Kruger. When I reviewed the film in August, I called it, “one of the better sequels to come out in a long time.” Like silly no-budget horror films with lots of fake gore and nudity? Then you’re sure to get a kick out of this. (Polly Staffle Rating: ***) - CCF

APRIL 18

Seeing Double — In keeping with the “Grindhouse” theme of double features this week, PollyStaffle.com names two small, underappreciated three-star films, currently on DVD, its Pick of the Week.

The first is David Ayer’s “Harsh Times” with Christian Bale, who is of course an absolute psycho as usual, and Freddy Rodriguez. This film is essentially the unemployed man’s “Training Day,” which Ayer wrote and Bale auditioned for, with two friends getting involved in petty crimes when they should be passing out resumes. Humor and violence ensues.

The other film is Bob Goldthwait’s “Sleeping Dogs Lie,” also known as “Stay.” Said to have been made on absolutely no budget and a crew put together from Craigslist.com, “Sleeping Dogs Lie” is a dark comedy that explores complete honesty in romantic relationships. Television character actress Melinda Page Hamilton plays a woman that did an outrageous sex act when she was in college. This entire movie is based around how she handles sharing this information later in life and the reactions she receives. - CCF

APRIL 11

Friday the 13th — This week PollyStaffle.com salutes that freaky date on the calendar that scares the hell out of some people and just so happens to be a few days away. We always like to give credit where credit is due and there isn’t anything in the world, besides perhaps the United States government, that cause so much fear and anxiety over so little. According to experts in the field of phobias, as many as 21 million Americans are terrified of Friday the 13th. Dr. Donald Dossey, who specializes in treating people with irrational fears, has even given it a name: paraskevidekatriaphobia. So, in hopes of helping everyone through this Friday, we have compiled our top five favorite “Friday the 13th” video clips from Youtube. Some are violent, some are funny, some are extremely amateur and we love every bit of them. Click here to check them out. But remember, just because Charles Manson and Jeffrey Dahmer both have 13 letters in their names, this is no reason to be scared of a number. There’s also no reason to be afraid of black cats, walking under ladders, stepping on cracks and opening umbrella’s indoors. Last but not least, vicious mammoth-sized men in masks, carrying items that could easily crack open your skull are not to be feared either… unless you’re also an NHL player and you’re standing in his way to the Stanley Cup Finals. - CCF

APRIL 3

PollyStaffle.com’s Favorite Band of the Moment — Now we have something from Argentina besides “Sadomaster” to be thankful for - the band Los Gauchos De Acero, which translates to The Steel Gauchos. Made up of guitarist/vocalist Emilio, 14, bass player Martin, 10, drummer Agustin, 11, and head-banging backup singer Carla, 4, this metal outfit has a catalog of 30 cover songs they can perform. They are all self taught and their influences range from the bands Sepultura, Pantera and Black Sabbath to the Richard Linklater film “School of Rock,” which starred Jack Black. Click here to check them out. - CCF

MARCH 28

Pervert!— Independently distributed on DVD since last April, “Pervert!” just became a little easier for boob-loving cinephiles to get their hands on this week thanks to TLA Releasing. If you haven’t seen this critically acclaimed cult hit starring Mary Carey, get your hands on it as fast as you can. Trust me, you will not be disappointed with director Jonathan Yudis and writer Mike Davis’ ode to Russ Meyer. Here’s what I said about the Polished Apple award winner last May: “‘Pervert!’ has the magic Troma Video wishes it had. It does for big-breasted sexploitation sleaze and nudie cuties what Rob Zombie did for 70’s horror in ‘House of a 1,000 Corpses’ and what Quentin Tarantino did for martial arts films of that same era with ‘Kill Bill.’”- CCF

MARCH 20

G.I. Jesus — This brilliant film by Carl Colpaert gets a limited theatrical release starting this weekend. In June, I called the film “deeply touching” and said “G.I. Jesus” is “not the best made film screened at CineVegas this year, but it’s definitely the most important.” Catch it in these cities and locations: Las Vegas (Regal Boulder Station & Cinemark Suncoast) Houston (Greenway 24), San Antonio (Fiesta 16 & Bijou at Crossroads), Austin (Cinemark Tinseltown 17), Los Angeles (Laemmle - Santa Monica and Beverly Hills) and New York (Village East). Click here for the film’s official site where you can see a trailer. (Polly Staffle Rating: ****) - CCF

MARCH 13

Free Love — Award-winning novelist Jonathan Lethem is giving away his new work “You Don’t Love Me Yet.” Actually, it’s not a copy of the book, it’s a film option and the ancillary-rights he’s looking to share. The “raucous romantic farce that explores the paradoxes of love and art” about a generation-X rock band hit bookshelves today and the free option on the film rights will be given away May 15. All Lethem asks in return is two percent of the budget, paid when the completed film gets a distribution deal. Within five years from the release of the movie, the book’s rights will then become public domain. Here’s what Lethem says about the film on his website, “I do want to make an extremely low-budget film possible, sure. ‘You Don’t Love Me Yet’ could easily be filmed with an ensemble of unknowns. The setting is contemporary Los Angeles, and there aren’t any scenes calling for expensive effects or steadicam shots taken from helicopters. But I’m equally open to moderately-budgeted or even expensive projects. You’ll notice that if the budget of the movie grows, I’ll make more money. I don’t have anything against money, per se – only against some of the things that money seems to usually also require in the way of compromises, and unnecessary clauses in contracts. I suspect that the ancillary-rights-giveaway will scare away some of the most traditional sources of filmmaker financing, but I’d be happy to be proven wrong about that.” Pollystaffle.com applauds Lethem and encourages all screenwriters and filmmakers to read the book. Hopefully this story will end with some kind of success and shake up a few things. Lethem encourages interested filmmakers to email his assistant Lucy, summarizing work they’ve done and how they expect to handle the project creatively and financially. - CCF

MARCH 6

Man About Town — This week PollyStaffle.com gives proppers to John Patterson or as we like to call him “The Guy That Is Everywhere & Has Had His Picture Taken With Anyone and Everyone.” I don’t know John personally, but my camera inadvertently went off and captured the image at right when a complete stranger was getting his photo with a porn star who removed her top at the AVN Expo in January. Later I was doing research on another porn star on Myspace when I stumbled across a comment that featured the very same guy that was in my photo. To make a long story short, both guys were John and if you take a peek at his Myspace, you will see he’s all over Las Vegas and Los Angeles meeting celebrities at various functions. He’s had his photo taken with Dakota Fanning, Michael Jackson, Scottie Pippen, O.J. Simpson, the doll from “Saw” and hundreds and hundred of others. John says he probably has close to 8,000 celebrity photos in all. Forget Paris Hilton, Matt Lauer, Waldo and Carmen Sandiego, where the hell is John Patterson this week? That’s all I want to know. By the way John, sorry the photo I took of you has your head cut off, but the uncropped version is still quite good. - CCF

FEBRUARY 28

Haunted Ventures FX — This web-based Hershey, Pennsylvania company offers anything and everything to make your next holiday or party special. Masks, props and costumes, oh my! I’m not just talking Halloween. If you want to spice up your next Easter, Mardi Gras, homecoming, Star Trek convention, freaky wife-swapping Super Bowl party or whatever, they probably got something that will do the trick. Most recently, the site has added a discounted merchandise section, so for all you cheapskates make sure and check that out. Other things of note are the haunted house in a box you can order, their ghostly gallery and newly added grim fairy gallery. Here’s their link. - CCF

FEBRUARY 20

Kittie — The Canadian girls of metal are back. The new CD/DVD “Funeral for Yesterday” hit stores today. They are currently in the middle of an American invasion, so be on the lookout as these ladies are usually armed and dangerous. The lineup has changed - once again - but as long as the Lander sisters Morgan and Mercedes are on board, it’s the same old Kittie. I haven’t heard the full album yet, but from what I’ve listened to; Morgan’s vocals are kind of a balance between their debut “Spit” and their last recording “Until the End.” Check out their revamped official website KittieRocks and their new micro site YoullBegForMercy. - CCF

FEBRUARY 13

Tom Tykwer — Looking for a great love story to watch this Valentine’s Day? Forget about those cheesy Hollywood releases and grab a movie by German filmmaker Tom Tykwer. Not only are most of his films highly stylized and cool as hell, they’re also thrilling dramas with great romantic elements. “Heaven” is my favorite, but “The Princess and the Warrior” and “Run Lola Run” are also great. For a great triple feature grab them all, but “Heaven” is perhaps his most accessible as it is mostly in English and stars Cate Blanchett and Giovanni Ribisi. For more information on his films, click here for Tykwer’s official website. The site hints at a box set in the future, but states “details and a release date are currently not available.” - CCF

FEBRUARY 6

silverchair — The three wee lads from down under have returned with heaps of fun. Their first single “Straight Lines” off their upcoming album “Young Modern” made its debut on Myspace last week. Check out the video here. I dig the song, but it might take a little while to adjust to the new Justin Timberlake/Leigh Whannel look Daniel Johns is sporting. The PollyStaffle.com favorites are also doing something a little different with their music video. Go to Myspace “download chosen edits from the original video and create your version.” Johns and company will then choose a winning video that will be aired on Australia’s “Video Hits.” silverchair will present the winner with a signed gold album plaque and a copy of their new album, which hits Aussie stores March 10. By the way, as far as the U.S goes, silverchair are free agents. So if you have a record label, please sign the mates. - CCF

FEBRUARY 1

Shock-O-Rama Swag — Rent the new Misty Mundae film “Sinful” and get some booty from her. Here’s the deal, run to Blockbuster Video – usually this is a no-no, but it is okay this once – grab the movie, send in the receipt to Shock-O-Rama Cinema and you will receive a batch of goodies free of charge. You get an 8X10 of Misty featuring co-star Erika Smith, an Alternative Cinema catalog and a Video-On-Demand card that gives you 30 minutes alone with Misty Mundae… I mean 30 minutes of free on-line Misty Mundae movies. (Hint for the perverts: If you do not know which movie you should watch, she gets naked in each and every one she has been in.) Click here for more information and photos of Misty.- CCF

JANUARY 24

AirSplat — PollyStaffle.com gives a big thumbs up to the marketing campaign behind AirSplat.com. You may have seen their magazine ads with the hot chick armed to the teeth and wondered who the hell she was and what the company was all about. Click here to find out. There are a few photos as well. - CCF

JANUARY 16

Amateur Porn Star Killer — For those dying to see Shane Ryan’s little film about a snuff-making serial killer, now is your chance to grab it on DVD for a limited time. While Alter Ego Cinema continuously seeks for a label that has the guts to distribute it, you can get a peak at it for a $20 donation. It seems Ryan and company got a bit carried away burning copies of “Amateur Porn Star Killer” and have found themselves in excess of duplications. When I reviewed this film in June I said, “This little indie is so close to being a masterpiece that even though it repulses me I have to praise it” and I gave it a highest possible rating of four stars. I stand by that recommendation as I’ve yet to erase the images of this film from my mind. It will disturb you, it will haunt you and change your view of pornography forever. Click here for details to order your copy today. - CCF

JANUARY 8

Hack Movies Gear — Kevin Strange not only makes funny horror films, he does it with less money than Tom Arnold’s daily diet cola habit. Oh yeah, Strange also now sells t-shirts. So be the first cool kid on the block outfitted in a freshly printed Hack Movies tee for $15 here. For the men, there are black “torso covers” and for the ladies, pink “titty covers.” This is the best thing to happen to underground horror/comedy nobudget flicks since the release of Dream Reaper. To see Zae - star of the upcoming Strange zombie release Dead Shit - modeling the shirt, click here. - CCF

JANUARY 3

Music 2006 — The upcoming year of music has me pumped up with new releases from silverchair, Kittie, Kelly Clarkson, a solo album from The Cranberries front woman Dolores O’Riordan and possible comebacks from Michael Jackson and Britney Spears. That being said, 2006 was a hell of a year with the return of epic-themed albums in full force. Rock rocked and pop popped thanks to a select few artists. For my favorites of the year, click here. - CCF

PICK OF THE WEEKS - 2006

DECEMBER 27

Altered – Many grew to hate the 1999 surprise hit The Blair Witch Project, which was a stroke of genius from its creators Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez. No matter what anyone says, the film still remains one of my all-time favorite horror films. Sánchez’s first solo project Altered, recently released on DVD, shows he’s a legit director. Intense is the best way to describe this creature feature, which sort of has a Quentin Tarantino meets M. Night Shyamalan vibe to it. Recommended for those genre fans of aliens, hillbillies, woods and gore. (Polly Staffle Rating: ****) – CCF

DECEMBER 19

When the Levees Broke: A Requiem in Four Acts — Spike Lee’s four-hour documentary on Hurricane Katrina that originally aired on HBO hit DVD this week. It could have easily been trimmed down for a more powerful two-hour movie, but is still a highly recommended watch. The three-disc set has a nearly two-hour epilogue and features commentary by Spike Lee. (Polly Staffle Rating: ***) – CCF