MISS JULY 2007

RHONDA ANTHONY TANNER

Her initials spell rat. Her middle name is the same as fictional character Tony Soprano’s first. She is also an exterminator of sorts. But internet video sensation Rhonda Anthony Tanner isn’t looking to harm anyone. In fact this beauty is all about helping others. She is the founder of R.A.T. Coaching™ and runs a show on Operator11.com. “We all have ‘Bugs’ in our lives, like just little pesky little buggies,” Rhonda’s profile states. “I want to make sure they go away, and stuff.” She claims to take all her “wisdom and learning and gifts and heart and metaphysical abilities and kindness and heart and listening skills and healing properties and class” and shares it with the world through her internet show. She’s a fan of glitter, fuzzy stuff, cupcakes, sprinkles, “Star Wars” and aliens, but does Rhonda actually ever help anyone? After the following “thorough interview, featuring hard-hitting investigative questions,” PollyStaffle.com would say Rhonda Anthony Tanner probably has brightened far more days that Dr. Phil ever has. Speaking of the bald one, read on to see what Rhonda thinks of him and Oprah’s new-found obsession “The Secret.” This firecracker also offers advice to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in this month’s explosive July edition of Polly’s Pinups.

RAT GIRL

CCF: First tell me a bit about being a life coach. What does that entail exactly?

RAT: You just like have to be there for your patients and stuff. I like just guide them through this uh-maz-zing adventure called lifey-life.

CCF: How did you become an expert on life, love, relationships and such?

RAT: I think I am just like naturally gifted in all things. It is just like a gift.

CCF: Some argue that since it’s unregulated and unstandardized, life coaching is psychotherapy without any restrictions. What do you make of all that?

RAT: You are like really smart Chaddy. Like restrictions should be removed and like redirected because like anything that is like restricting like clothing and stuff is just bad and stuff.

CCF: Okay… Quick, what words pop in your head when you hear the following names: Stuart Smalley?

RAT: I like love Stuart Little and stuff.

CCF: Penn & Teller?

RAT: I like pens. I like use them to write and stuff, especially colored pens, like pink colored.

CCF: Dr. Phil?

RAT: Philly, his accent is spicy, grrrr.

CCF: (LOL) Miranda July?

RAT: July is a good month, I like heat and stuff.

CCF: “The Secret”?

RAT: Glitter is like better and stuff.

CCF: Luke Skywalker?

RAT: Hot, just hot hottie with hotness.

CCF: (LOL) Polly Staffle?

RAT: New friendy friend.

CCF: Martha Stewart?

RAT: Yummy cakes. I like cake.

CCF: (LOL) Lastly, Pamela Anderson?

RAT: Pretty and like tan beach goddess of the sand that is like next to the ocean.

CCF: These are all good answers… So tell me why do you share your life coaching skills for free? Shouldn’t you be charging people hundreds of dollars per session?

RAT: I like want to help, like, everybody so, like, charging them a lot feels like really wrong and icky yuck yuck.

CCF: I see… At the end of the day, what’s the “mostest importantest” thing in the whole wide world that as long as people remember it, everything is going to be super duper?

RAT: Always floss and stuff. Your teeth can be like powerful attractors to find your animal soul mate or ASM.

CCF: You did a show on the lessons that can be learned from the “Star Wars” franchise, which I thought was great by the way. But what I wanted to ask, was are there any other films out there that teach as much as those?

RAT: Yeah but like “Star Wars” is my life so like I only touched like the surface on what we can learn from the great “Star Wars.”

CCF: Real quick could you share an important lesson that you didn’t touch in your show?

RAT: Like don’t be afraid of, like, strangers, like Chewbacca, cause, like, they could end up saving your rear behind area someday and stuff. Strangers are like not dangers.

CCF: (LOL) Okay. Speaking of strangers. Have you personally ever seen a UFO or had contact with aliens?

RAT: I actually have an inner alien and stuff. Her name is Muffy. She is from Ashwagandnana. She like crawled in my mouth one night and like we have been best life friends since and stuff.

CCF: If you could life coach the following people, what sort of advice would you give them: Michael Jackson?

RAT: Wow, like I think Michael is the the Sherbet.

CCF: Paris Hilton?

RAT: Stay away from the like bad boys cause like she needs a good nice boy like a doctor cause like if she like crashes her car like she would already have a doctor and stuff.

CCF: Britney Spears?

RAT: Call me and stuff, I am here for you girlfriend.

CCF: With the release of the new animated-adventure “Ratatouille” by Disney, do you think the general public will have a newfound obsession with rats, like what happened with penguins after “March of the Penguins,” and if so, do you think this will spill over into more interest in yourself since your initials spell “RAT”?

RAT: I like am a life coach but like not a psychic so like I don’t know. I only had like psychic abilities for a week but like then Muffy got mad at me and stuff and took them away.

CCF: Okay, lastly, I have this friend who is a really big loser. He is like totally obsessed with the internet and movies; especially horror movies and films filled with nudity and violence and he has the hots for this really cool chick who does a show on Operartor11... Wait, wait... scratch that question... What I meant to ask was, if I had a friend like that and he had such a situation, how many cup cakes would it take for him to... actually, I think we’re done for now. Thanks for your time. Now get back to saving the world.

- CCF, July 2007